Mother's Day

My friend, Stacy, shared this on Stepping Stones, the Christian infertility forums I frequent and am a moderator for. It is from an email she received from her niece. It is a fitting poem for me especially on Mother's Day when I remember the baby I lost that the world has forgotten and as I long to hold a little one in my arms someday. To all my Stepping Stones sisters and all the women dealing with IF out there, I salute you. I salute you for your bravery as you go through month after month of disappointments. I salute you for your perseverance to keep pressing on. As my friend, Jess said, Happy Unmother's Day to you! I am thinking about you and praying for you today.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep,
explore,
and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother

To all Moms and soon-to-be Moms...Happy Mother's Day. May you remember what a beautiful and special treasure you have been given from God. Also, hope you get a little pampering today!