A YUCK Day!

Today is one of those days I dread coming. Some of you know about them. The days, that out of the blue for no apparent reason you feel yuck. I mean emotionally. I am not sure how other to describe the day except this way. For some reason every once in a while I have those days when not having a child hits me harder than others. When I actually feel sick to my stomach and my heart hurts. One of those days when I could just sit here and cry. I really hate these kinds of days. Days like this I lean on God harder then usual. I know it is because of Him that I get through the day. I know it is because of Him that I am able to get up some mornings. I know it is because of Him I have the life I have and I am thankful for it and what He has given me. I praise the Lord for His greatness!

Our Furbabies

I decided to dedicate a post to our furbabies. They are truly my joy (along with Dustin)

First...Zeke...he is our Cockatiel. He loves to whistle the sexy whistle and the come here whistle. He also says Good morning Zekers. Other than that he love to squawk and whistle whatever. I absolutely adore him. He is a sweetheart even if he draw blood if you put your finger in his cage too many time. Unfortunately, I do not have a pic of him. I should get one though. It is hard between those bars. Zeke is approximately 6 years old so he should be with us for many more years.


Next came Zoey. She was a stray at my parent's house. She is adorable and loves people! I cannot get over how sweet she is! She loves to go outside and sleep anywhere soft. She also like to sleep on our heaters. They are the old style, tall and wavy. It seems like it would hurt but I guess she has enough fat that they don't bother her. I got Zoey the day after Thanksgiving 2000. Zoey is getting up there in age. Since she was a stray we don't know exactly how old she is but the best estimate is 13.

Next we have Gucci. She really does not like anyone but me. She spends all her time upstairs because she hates Augge. She really is lovable and sweet even though it is only to me. She is afraid of a lot of things including when I sneeze. She is great company when I got to bed! I got Gucci On Halloween in 2001. She is 7 years old.

Last but definitely not least is Sir Augger Roach. He is commonly called Augge, Mutts, Mister and whatever else comes to mind. He is our 2 year old Chocolate Lab with a TON of energy. He loves swimming, chasing his tail, chasing balls, trying to get squirrels and birds, pretending he is a lap dog and much more. We got him at 6 weeks old and 8 pounds. We got him exactly 5 months to the day we moved into our house and the day before we moved into our redone bedroom (that was part of the deal). He is now 110 pounds of nothing but muscle! He loves to have company and loves kids. There are somedays I would like to give him away but I absolutely adore him and want him to be here forever.

Well, that is our circus as I like to call it. We enjoy them and they take a lot of our time!

It Has Been Too Long...

since I posted last. I don't know why I cannot get use to posting on here but it is hard for me to do.
I really need to start keeping up better. I don't even know where to start so I guess it will be with the one thing I am frustrated with...losing weight.

Losing weight...a topic I really don't like to discuss these days! I am having a very hard time eating right and going to the gym. I seem to be craving and craving things I am not suppose to have and what do I do? Yep, cave into the cravings. As for the gym, that is tough lately too. It seems like work is getting busier and busier. On nights I don't have meetings at work I just want to go home. Add to that our classes on Thursday and it makes it even more difficult. I will be better. I am trying to use this Spring Break week to regroup.

Fostering/Adoption classes are going well. There are times when my feelings are a little unsure but then I go back to wanting to be a foster parent or an adoptive parent again. I would assume these emotions are normal. Well, at least I hope they are. We have gone through classes dealing with grief and losses, attachment, and needs and strengths. We have done role plays about a variety of situations. While I may know a lot of the "technical" stuff I am learning more and more about the program for lack of a better word and the emotions that go along with it. I definitely have a better understanding from the child and parent's point of view.

I was really worried about the grief and losses night. I really wondered if I would be able to make it through. I was worried that our 4 years of TTC and the lose of our baby through mc would all come back. Praise the Lord though because I was fine!

We did an interesting activity this past Thursday night. We had to close our eyes and basically pretend we were the foster children going through the process. The instructor read the scenario, we imagined. It was incredibly sad. I could just see Dustin and Augge was I was leaving (I don't really think Zoey, Zeke and Gucci care either way if they get fed). Their faces were so sad. It made me incredibly sad. The scenario went that I did not see my family for over a year. There were 2 times I felt anger during the scenario. Once-when I was told I might not be able to bring pictures of my family to my new home and again when I was told I was unable to see my family for over a year. I remember so vividly how excited I was when they told me I was going home. It was a bad experience but one that is good to have so I can understand more.

We have 6 more classes left including this Thursday. I am looking forward to getting them behind us.

We are going to be working on the house. Either tomorrow or Thursday I am going to begin painting the living room. I am excited about this because I have wanted it done since we moved in 2 1/2 years ago!!!!!

Thank you to all the visitors who post. I enjoy knowing someone is reading my blabbering nonsense.