Breast Reduction Update #1 - Not feeling well

It has not been the greatest day. I am in pain and I just in general feel like crap. I know that I should not expect to feel wonderful but I really did not think I would feel this way. :(

Post Surgery Appointment #1

I was so glad I was going back to the plastic surgeon's office today. First, I was anxious to see what my breasts looked like and second I was having a lot of pain that did not seem my pain killer was even touching. Mom and I went to McDonald's, my pain was so bad I did not even want to eat...I love McDonald's usually! So off to the plastic surgeon's office we go. They ask how I am, I tell them I am having a lot more pain than I anticipated. The nurse and surgeon then cut the ace bandage off from me, pulled the gauze away and there were my new breasts. I could only see them from the top but Mom got a great view...such a great view that she started crying and then told the surgeon they are beautiful. The surgeon said they looked great and he would not need to see me on Friday. Instead he will see me next Tuesday. By the way...some of my pain was relieved when the tight ace bandage was taken off. The entire ride home I was anxious to see my boobs. When we got here one of my aides from work was here to bring me somethings. I pulled my sweatshirt back and showed her. The first thing we did when we got into the house was to take my bra off, let me look at them and then take a picture, I am documenting this in pictures. I thought they look a little funky but so much better than before and they will change...after all, it is only he first day after surgery. So I cannot keep my hands of my new boobs, partially because they are great and the other reason because I feel like I m massaging or touching the pain away.

I have had a few episodes today where I did not believe that I had a breast reduction and cannot believe that my boobs are so much smaller and nicer. It is weird! However, I am so glad I had it done!

Surgery Day Story

On the morning of my surgery, I arrived at the hospital at 6:20. At around 6:30 I was taken back to my room. Things went quite quickly from there. I gave them a urine sample for a pregnancy test then immediately changed into my gown. The gowns were really cool. The hospital just started using these gowns called Bair Paws. Basically it is a gown that has portholes. A tube goes in, you get a remote control to determine the air temperature. It has a really calming effect. Throughout the next hour several nurses, an aide and the anesthesiologist came in. About 15 minutes before surgery my plastic surgeon came in to mark me up. At this point I had already been given some nausea medication and had patch behind my ear for nausea so I was feeling a little tired. It seemed like it took him forever to do the markings. One thing about the markings that shocked me was just how far up he was moving my nipples! It was 2 ½ - 3 inches! He also had to initial each breast because it is state law. About 10 minutes after he was done with the markings I was taken to the operating room. I don’t remember much just looking at the room for a minutes and then having a mask put over my face, a couple deep breathes and that was it. Waking up was horrible for me. My throat hurt really, really bad and I was also have pain on the scale of approximately a 9. I was given 3 vicodin and 2 shots of something I my IV. I was still having trouble with pain. One thing that helped was that I was laying far down in the bed and when they put the head of the bed up it made a little pain go away. They asked if I wanted to come home and I said yes so the nurse called my PS and asked what to give me. While she was waiting for him to I got up and walked to the bathroom. It was not nice to discover that I could not reach behind me. When I got back to my room she gave me a shot of something (D something) as a stronger, longer lasting pain killer. They monitored me for 30 minutes, my husband helped me get dressed and went to get the car while an orderly and my mother-in-law took me to meet the car. The ride home was ok. The bumps hurt. I sat in the front seat with a blanket across my boobs and my seatbelt on. One I was home Iaid down, got up, laid down, got up. I was so restless and I guess I still am. The hydrocodone he gave me is not working as well as I anticipated. I expected to be uncomfortable but not In pain like I am. I go back at 2 this afternoon to have my bandage taken off and a bra put on. I am really anxious to see what the girls look like. My Mom is going with me too and is equally excited. My Mom was at my house when I got home. She was telling my husband and I about how good I looked in the breast area as soon as she saw me. She asked me if the pain was what I thought it would be…my answer…nope, did not know it would hurt this bad. I don’t remember seeing the surgeon after surgery. He talked to my husband and mother-in-law. He said the surgery went well, minimal bleeding and he took off a little under 4 pounds. The surgery took 4 hours which was longer than anticipated. He had told my family 3 hours. I guess that is all I can think of for now.

OTR

Surgery is one! It has been a very long day and I am having quite a bit of pain but it is over. I will tell you all about it tomorrow or in a few days when I am more up to it. Thanks for all the prayers!

Augge and the new phone

I set my phone to say read, 1, 2, 3 before it takes a picture. Augge is completely enthralled by it! He sits there and looks at it and looks at it. I don't think he can figure out what is going on in that little black box. Here is a picture of him that I took with my phone.

The day before

24 hours from now I should be 1 hour and 15 minutes into my surgery. I cannot believe time has gone by so fast. Yesterday I was thinking about just how fast it was gone. Just 5 months ago I was laying on the couch, taking vicodin recovering from my back surgery. Now I am preparing for a surgery that will hopefully change my life. To be honest this was not an easy decision for me to make. Of course I wanted to have it done but there are so many thoughts I have had through this journey...Many people will not understand because it truly is a "big breast thing".

I have feelings about my big breasts...
My breasts have always been something not many people had so they made me feel special in some sort of weird way. When I felt fat and ugly there were the boobs...the one thing about me that was attractive to the opposite sex. At the same time I am so sick of back aches and neck pain. Along with the neck pain comes headaches. I love to garden...do you know how hard it is to do this when you can only work in the flowers for a half an hour at a time and when you do it you can barely walk because your back hurts so bad? I am also sick of not being able to wear what I want, no button up shirts, dresses that fit right on top but not on bottom or vice versa. I am sick of my shoulders hurting from my bra cutting into them. I am sick of my breasts getting in the way all the time. I am sick of not being able to find a sports bra to work out in. I am sick of spending so much money on bras. I am sick of not being able to find a pretty bra but instead a bra that is a basic color with 4-5 hooks in the back. I am sick of not being able to wear a cute little bra and panty set because they don't make them with my size bra. I am sick of people (not just men) looking at me and seeing my breasts instead of me. I am sick of them.

Along with these thoughts come worries of what is to come...
Will I be happy with smaller breasts. Of course I am going to love the perkiness that comes with a reduction but what if I don't like my new breasts? What if Dustin hates my new breasts? What then, you just can't have them put back in. What if my back and neck pain does not get a lot better? (Although from everything I have heard and read it will get better immediately) Will I think I am too small? Will I get depressed as many women do?

Along with these thoughts come the thoughts that I am so excited about...
I will be able to buy a sports bra. Maybe I will finally be able to run...yeah, I have asthma but that can be controlled as long as I don't have to run holding my breasts. Maybe I will finally feel comfortable working out. Maybe I can finally lose this weight that I have wanted to lose so long? I will finally be able to buy bras and panty sets. I will finally be able to wear button up shirts without a cami underneath. I will not be embarassed about sagging, huge breasts. I won't put a bra on as soon as I get up and take it off right before I go to bed because I am embarassed. I will have a new big breast free life.

All in all, I am so excited about tomorrow. I wish it was over but soon enough it will be. I cannot wait to complete my recovery and be the new me.