My Older Brother, Shawn

My brother, Shawn, is 3 years and 15 days older than I am. He was born on September 15, 1973. Due to a complication at birth Shawn is mentally retarded. I tell you this because it obviously plays a huge role in his life as well as ours.

I am told Shawn learned to speak when I did. I don't know much about Shawn growing up as I don't remember. But I do know he received speech therapy starting at a young age. I remember that he never road the same bus as I did until high school and I remember he did not attend the same school as I did, again, until high school. I remember that he would cut wood and mow the lawn. I remember that he never wanted to order meals when we were out to dinner. Instead, he would say, I will have what Dad has. I do remember the smiles and laughter coming from him. I too, remember the people that use to pick on him. I remember the strange looks he sometimes got. I will never forget the anger that would grow inside of me when I saw this or heard about it. He was my brother...how could someone pick on him? He was great! All you needed to do was get to know him to realize that. I soon grew to realize these people were ignorant. I remember feeling ever so protective of him.

One of the strongest memories I have of high school happened when I was in 9th grade. Shawn had been repeatedly picked on by another student. After taking a lot of picking and being pushed to his max he hit this student...believe it or not I remember what the kid looked like. Shawn was suspended. Only hours later a petition was circulating through the high school, started by Jennifer, in an attempt to get him back in school. His friends, the football and baseball players as well as many others signed this petition. He was soon back in school but the ignorance continued.

Then came the anxiety. There are tears in my eyes as I write about this. I remember endless nights of pacing and anxiety. I remember many times when I was scared for him. I remember endless different kinds of medication. I remember his being in the Elmira Psychiatric Center to detox from the wrong medication he was given. It was right before Christmas. I remember my Dad crying. I remember, when I was in college, the phone call I received while waitressing. Shawn was in he emergency room and was eventually taken to Hornell. I remember walking into the hospital that night and him not knowing who I was all because of the wrong medicine. I remember when I was living in Binghamton. I had the day off for a doctor's appointment. I got a call that Shawn was very ill and headed to Sayre hospital. It was serious. Later I found out he could have died because of the wrong medicine. His kidney's had shut down and his muscle exploded. After some dialysis treatments and a long hospital stay he was healed. I so vividly remember the day he started peeing again. Dad and I were at the hospital and he said he had to go to the bathroom. We got him on the comode, Dad holding the urinal in front of him and he started to pee. He peed and peed, filled the urinal and started going on the floor and Dad. We laughed and laughed...so excited because he was peeing!!!!!!

There have been many ups and downs since then. God sent Shawn a wonderful doctor who has helped him immensely. His name is Dr. Williams. He is in Rochester. He has, by far, helped Shawn more than any other doctor he has ever seen. We are so thankful to God for sending him to Shawn.

Throughout the years I have wanted Mom and Dad to find a group home for Shawn. I think he would flourish in one and become more and more independent. I believe he will blossom like the trees and flowers in the Spring. When I have spoken to my Parents regarding this I have been met with resistance. I talked to my Grandma Semple so many times about the situation. She agreed a group home would be wonderful, not just for Shawn but for Mom and Dad as well. Finally, a few weeks ago my Mom told me she had prayed and received signs pushing her towards a group home. She did some checking and found that there was a spot open in a home that 3 of Shawn's workers think is perfect for him. On Tuesday, May 5 I met with Mom, Dad, Uncle Jamie, Grandpa and 2 women regarding this. On Thursday, May 7 Mom, Dad and I went to see the home. As soon as I pulled in the driveway I loved it. There is a garden and 2 covered porches. It is an adorable house with new siding and a new roof. Once I walked in I was greeted with a very homey, nice living room. Hardwood floors, a fireplace, pictures of the gentleman that live there, a fish tank and 2 kittens only added to how nice it was. We toured the home and it is great! 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, a computer area, a kitchen and a very nice atmosphere. One of the gentleman that lives there gave us the grand tour. He is talkative and nice. He actually reminds me of Shawn when he is having his good days. The decision was made to forge ahead on this path. Over the next few weeks the paperwork will be processed and approved, Shawn will be participating in visits and if all goes well he will begin a new chapter in his life. I sit here and cry as I am typing this. I cry because I am so excited about the possibilities for him. However, I also cry because of how difficult this is for us as a family and how difficult it might be for Shawn. I cry because I wish my Grandma was here to see this happening and for me to talk with about it. However, I know she is watching from Heaven and cheering us all on.

This brings me to some prayer requests. Please pray for the following:

• Shawn as he learns about this and him easing into this situation.
• My family as we work through him going on his own, especially my Dad who is experiencing a difficult time with this.
• The process and that Shawn will be accepted and this home still being available.

God's hand is on us. He is blessing us beyond measure. He will continue to bless us all. We have come this far "but by God".

This seems like a long post but when speaking about some one's almost 36 years on this earth it really isn't. I wish all of you were so blessed to know Shawn. He is loving, compassionate and a great joy. His smile and laugh is contagious. He really is one of my heroes because he has come through so much experience in life, not always good but he is still happy. He is a blessing! I will continue to update on this situation as well as share more memories.